Moment for life: I remember, I dont remember

My short term memory is not what it use to be. Also, my short term memory is not what it use to be.~~
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I remember

I remember

I remember

I remember when I was 14 years old sitting in the back room of my grandma’s house with the door locked so I could have some privacy. My boyfriend at the time, the love of my life RJ, was on his way to bid me farewell as the summer came to an end and it was time to return to reality “School”. Sitting there in the darkness I cried to myself thinking about the distant friendship for the next 7 months. I listened to New Edition “Lost in Love” over and over until I heard a noise. The sound was faint but clearly it was a tap on the window. Without thinking I immediately pulled the curtains back more like heavy ugly drapery to peep into the darkness and not to my surprise there was my friend, my first love sitting outside my grandma’s house waiting for me to open/crack the window. I put my finger up to my lips to shush him so that I could check to make sure the coast was clear. Ever so quietly I opened the door and I approached the kitchen cautiously.  To play it off I walked directly to the sink as if I was getting some water.  Carefully I tip toed to  peep into the den to see what grandma and grand daddy were doing. They both were sitting in their recliner while the baseball game was watching grand daddy and a book was holding up grandma eye glasses. Yes! I crept back to the kitchen ditched the water and tip toed back to my room to partake in farewell kisses with my first love.  The windows were old, the type that had a handle that you twisted and the window pane moved outward at an angle. Just as I hit play on the cassette player to restart our song I heard footsteps….Dang it!!!!  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I don’t remember

I don’t remember

I don’t remember

I don’t remember

I don’t remember

What don’t I remember

There are a lot of things I don’t remember. It is disturbing trying to recall events in my life that I know occurred but I can not quite grasp the detail of what happened. There are some things I just flat out can not conjure up back into existence no matter how hard I try.  I really don’t remember much of my 6^th grade year. I have floating memories of 7^th and 8^th but nothing really concrete. Maybe if I try hard enough and just jot down what I do remember it is a possibility the gaps will come back to me. Sigh*****  I really don’t remember. Well that just goes to show how important journaling is because if I had been encouraged  to write I could have a written a book “Diary of a Kid to Remember…..”