Happy Balance

Good Morning everyone,

Recently (past few months), I have decided to take a stab as a Blogger and through this journey I have become involved with several blogs related to various topics.  Sandra Rose feeds me the gossip entertainment sector, and Angela Simmons is random thoughts, quotes and her personal quest to remain relevant.  Below there is the ‘Positivity’ Blog which comes directly to my email and focuses on positivity and productivity. I do not get paid to advertise for these websites so I won’t however every once in a while I will share a topic that stands out and radiates something I am working on in my life.

Lately, due to enormous of amounts of stress some forced on me others self imposed, I have decided to make some changes. Set up boundaries, limitations sort to speak. 

Can you believe it but others see me as ….loud, aggressive, yeller, fussy, naggy, and opinionated and I am sure the list goes on. But I see me as concerned, passionate, aggressive, committed and caring and I recognized that flaws exist. My passion for those I love, cherish and respect has taken a toll on my peace of mind, and health. For my sake I need to make some changes.

Starting yesterday, I have turned myself down a notch, and my existence will be on low volume.  Since I can not seem to win or breakeven regardless of what I do:

• If I say anything, share an opinion = I am wrong, not being fair, thought process is off or even messy
• If do not say anything = I have an attitude and mean
• I find myself tip toeing around folks to prevent saying something that is insensitive ( in their opinion)

From here on out:

• I will do more listening than speaking
• I will not comment on folks drama that does not directly impact me
• Nor will I inquire about the well-being of others that could potentially bring drama
• The less I know the better ;o)

I write out of emotion, so it can be misconstrued as rambling, hence I journal. When the article below came to me today it said everything I needed to say in a manner that is not attackful, but tactful.

Feel free to Google this blog and have them send a little peace to your life!

Enjoy

Petrina

[Positivity] 5 Ways of Using Limits to Get More Enjoyment Out of Your Life Today‏

Hi there!

Lately I've become a lot fonder of limits than I used to be. I used to see them as something negative. Because on one level it's great to surpass you own limits. On another level it is pretty helpful to set some limits.

So here is how I use limits to make things easier for myself and to accomplish more.

1. Drop the irrelevant stuff.

What are the most important things in your life? What are the least important things in your life? Find ways to drop the things that are actually pretty irrelevant when you think about it. This may not be that easy though and you can encounter resistance from within.

Even if it's a change for the better you are still upsetting the order you are used to and that is uncomfortable. But to make room for new stuff or more of the best stuff then something has to go. You can't just work faster and faster.

2. Set limits for daily checking.

I check inboxes, Facebook, various statistics for my website at the end of my workday. And just once a day. It is relief because your mind becomes less stuffed with thoughts that just run around in circles. You think more clearly and feel more relaxed. I would highly recommend adapting this in a way that suits you and to try it for just a week and see how it feels.

3. Set time limits for small decisions.

I don't sit around thinking about decisions like if I should exercise, make a phone call, try some new food or anything where I may feel a bit of resistance from within. Instead as soon as I think about it I make a decision to do it within seconds and start moving.

If you wait for just one or a few minutes then that can create unnecessary doubts and excuses in your head. The mental burden in your mind - which can become a pretty big energy sucker over days and weeks of time - is minimized by doing this.

4. Set time limits for tasks.

In 2009 I started using Twitter. It became pretty sporadic. So last year I decided to set a timebox for 15 minutes each day to use for Twitter. At first, I felt resistance but I had set the limit and so I was going to use Twitter for 15 minutes each day. After a couple of days the limit became useful in another way. Because now I had got into it and it had become more fun than it used to. So the 15 minute limit now helps me to use Twitter effectively and to not spend too much time there.

Try using a similar small limit to either get started with doing something each day or to cut down on something that you are spending more time on than you really want to.

5. Set a limit for commitments.

Say no. Stretching yourself a bit can be good. Overextending yourself is not.

Get to know your limits for getting things done and actually enjoying life instead of just trying to get yourself through each day with your head above the water. 

Think about it, use the other tips above and find a balance where you get the most important things done but also feel good about your life and not just deadly tired and with a lot of mediocre results.

I hope this email will help you to find more enjoyment in your life today and this upcoming weekend,

Henrik

Child Support

Because my dad wouldn't pay child support...

I saw my mom cry

I saw my mom worry

I saw my sacrafice

I saw my mom settle

I saw my mom struggle

I saw my mom borrow

I saw my mom beg

I saw my mom bleed

I saw my mom sad

I saw my mom go hungry

I saw my mom give up

I saw my mom give in

I saw my mom at her worst

Because my dad didn't pay child support...

I made my mom happy

I made my mom smile

My mom taught me appreciation

My mom taught me the importance of education

My mom taught me how to love

My mom taught me what love is

My mom taught me about love

My mom taught me commitment

My mom taught me to be respectful

My mom taught me responsibility

My mom taught me, a mans word is bond

My mom taught me about God

My mom taught me how to smile during adversity

My mom taught me how to treat a woman

My mom taught me how to throw a ball

My mom taught me how to dribble a ball

My mom taught me to surround myself with good people

My mom taught me to be a leader

My mom taught me to listen

My mom taught me discipline

My mom came to every game

My mom was my biggest cheer leader

Because my dad didn't pay child support..and

Because of everything my mom taught me, I AM A BETTER MAN

Quote of the Day

"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it"~~Bill Cosby

She done it.....GRADUATED!!!!!

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success. ~Robert Orben

Graduation is only a concept. In real life every day you graduate. Graduation is a process that goes on until the last day of your life. If you can grasp that, you'll make a difference. ~Arie Pencovici

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland

 

 

There is just one life for each of us: our own. ~Euripides

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

So many quotes, with various points of view, road maps to life yet growing up into YOU is a personal decision.  Despite all what is given to you by family, friends and educaters, it is the individual that chooses their own direction. The individual must make the appropriate adjustments, to transform into themselves.  This is only the beginning, and the decisions made from this point will determine how long, hard or easy the journey will be.  Be all you can be everyday.

May 28, 2011 was a milestone for my daughter Tiauna JaNae' Arnett...whomsoever graduated in the circle of family and friends supporting and celebrating this great accomplishment.  This event will be forever memorable, Tiauna graduation brought a smile to everyone's face, and it also was a forum for the family to come together. Man what a weekend! It was great and needed. 

"It Just Hit Me, I graduatedddd ! I've had so many people doubt me this year & God gave me the strength to prove each&every one of them wrong. #Blessed" Tiauna

Congratulations to the Class of 2011

Wise are those who learn that the bottom line doesn't always have to be their top priority. ~William Arthur Ward

The man who will use his skill and constructive imagination to see how much he can give for a dollar, instead of how little he can give for a dollar, is bound to succeed. ~Henry Ford

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. ~Edmund Hillary

The Card by James Ross

I am an avid reader of many things books, magazines, internet etc..... during one of my writing classes we covered short stories. Me being new to the whole writing scene did my research to get an idea of how to write a short story. Along the way I came across many amateur and experienced writers of short stories but one always stuck in mind and I saved for future reference. This story is relatable and relevant in so many ways. So for your reading pleasure....

The Card by James Ross

The only thing I ever got off my old man was a birthday card when I was ten. He'd gone off when I was three and left me and mam and my sister to fend for ourselves. Mam never talks about him but my sister remembers him.
     ‘What was dad like?' I ask.
     She looks at me through dark, sleepy eyes, pushes her hair back from her eyes. Her arms are scabbed like she's been shinning up a rusty drainpipe and accidentally slid back down and scraped herself. ‘Whu?'
     ‘I said, what was dad like?'
     She smiles at me, and I suss that she's still trippin' and I should ask her later when she's straight.
     Anyhow, the only thing I ever got from him was a birthday card when I was ten. It said Happy Birthday Mickey! And then there was a verse inside the card that went:
    

Now you're ten, and how you've grown
     It really won't be long
     ‘Til you're a man, and fully grown
     With arms both big and strong.

And on the front of the card was a picture, a cartoon, of a little boy wearing a hardhat and driving a tractor. But I mean, how would he know I'd grown? To be honest, I was surprised he knew where I was, we moved so often.
    
But the killer was, at the bottom of the card, below the rhyme, he'd added:
    

Remember, no one's got your back
     XX. Dad.

I'd studied this card on more than one occasion, trying to work out some depth to what he was telling me. ‘Laura, what was dad like?'
     Three hours later and she's washing up. The dutiful daughter. She looked up a little, thought about my question for a second or two. Then she said, ‘I love him. Still.'

     ‘Well I hate him. What was he like, though?'
     And she said, ‘Stern.'
     ‘Stern, huh?'
     ‘I don't mean strict; more like serious. Like you, a bit, but smarter, taller and better looking.' Then she laughed and slapped me across the arm, ‘Dry the dishes,' she said.
     It's funny, I learn a lot from my sister, mainly don't do drugs, which I should have written in capital letters instead of italics, but never mind, the thing is, when she's not high or shaking ‘cos she needs some stuff, she's really smart and, truth be told, she's the core of our family, the strength, believe it or not. Honest, she keeps us together. There's me, fifteen, bright, got a future, they tell me, though I haven't and I'll tell you about that later, and then there's my mam, as honest as, and working, and sensible (though not in her choice of boyfriends or anything) and all that stuff. And then there's Laura. Nineteen, and a junkie, but she holds the family together. Cos mam's a flake and useless, and I, basically, am at a loose end; financially, educationally, socially, morally… I won't go on.
    
Laura has one thing going for her; she's honest. And because she is honest she sees more than most, so she knows more than most, and she holds me and mam together.
     Mam.
     Hold on, I was told by my English teacher, Miss Wright, that I should show, not tell; ‘too much exposition,' she'll say to me (look it up). So maybe I should stop describing my life, start showing what happens instead, but I'll get to that bit in a bit, so to speak.
     Ok, so mam. My mother. She is thirty seven years old and she is a flake. A total dribble. Weak as. They should do a reality TV show on my mam – "How Not To …"
     "How Not To bring up your children."

     "How Not To save for the future."
     "How Not To get a good job."
     "How Not To attract a nice boyfriend."
     She did once. Attract a nice boyfriend, that is. And I've read all the women's magazines she buys and I knew from the off it wasn't going to last. From the moment she said to me, ‘He's kind, thoughtful, good looking. He's got a good job, Pete, and a lovely car' (a bloody good car, since you ask. You didn't? But you would have. A Kompressor. Which means Supercharger. Which also means money. Cool. German. Cool. And much more). But anyway, as she's telling me all this I'm thinking, Yeah, but mam, you're going to fall for a skinheaded nightclub doorman or a carpet salesman called Wayne and you're going to jack Pete in and tell me ‘there was no spark' which translates as, you think that love equals pain, and affection means distress and you think that being nice is the equivalent of being invisible. Which it kind of is. So just be honest. Please. So, as predicted, Pete went the journey. Kompressor and all. And in moved Marc. Fifteen years younger than mam. What a tosspot.
     What a racket.
     It was embarrassing. It was the crime that no parent should inflict upon their children! Making those noises. I was twelve, which made Laura sixteen; she'd just failed her exams and was working in Safeway. Very content. Regular money, dreaming about her own flat. Boyfriend. And the last thing that Laura wanted was mam and Marc doing that upstairs halfway through a Sunday afternoon. Go on mam; be a mam, not a flake. Don't be desperate, please. But no. And when Marc made a play for Laura one afternoon, just a suggestion you understand, she screamed the place down and mam came dashing downstairs half-dressed and slapped Laura to shut her up and then slapped her again when she heard what she was accusing Marc of doing.
    
I'm not tough, really, I'm not. And I'm not pretending to be not tough so you'll think that really I secretly am tough either. I'm just not. So when mam took his side against Laura I couldn't drop Marc with a right hook to the jaw or a knee in the family jewels, though I really, really wanted to, so I just went and sat on the front step and listened to them row.

     It was one of those afternoons with dark and light grey clouds flying across the sky on the wind (scudding, as they say in really old novels). I sat on the step of our front door watching the seagulls wheel and fly and sail on the wind. I wished I could do that.
    
I have this theory that, to us the world is a flat thing we stand on, but to birds it is a cliff they cling to, a huge ball and they cling to the side and then fall off and fly and glide. I'm digressing here, but I can't remember what else happened, except I know how it ended. The next morning I waited until Marc went out and then I used mam's phone to call the police and grass Marc for the twenty grams of cocaine he had stashed in a haversack under the stairs.
     Bingo.
     Job done.
     Like I say, I'm not tough. But I don't need to be when there's five polis and a German Shepherd dog breaking down the door and dragging Marc screaming down the path and into a van.
    
Anyhow, this card I got from my dad. It said, remember, no one's got your back, like this was some piece of information I'd known but had forgotten, or like I already had asked someone to get my back and then discovered they hadn't got it, or something. I mean, come on dad, I don't know who you are, or where you are or what you do or anything, but come on, be a dad for a minute. For as long as it takes not to write that sentence.
     I was ten years old for Chrissake.
     Write I miss you or We'll meet up when you're older or Stick in at school. In fact, here's an idea. Don't send me a card.
     Go on.

     Unsend it.
     But the funny thing is, daft, one-off card with a stupid picture and a deranged verse it might have been.
     But he was right.
     No one's got your back.

Thursday Night Thoughts

Today was a good day.
Work was a challenge....a good thing
Work was fun..an excellent thing
Work ended at 4:30...PERFECT thing.
Headed to Crabby Daddy's with my favorite sister in law, and a couple co workers.
Crawfish and Margarita's ....LOVING it!

Moment for life: I remember, I dont remember

My short term memory is not what it use to be. Also, my short term memory is not what it use to be.~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I remember

I remember

I remember

I remember when I was 14 years old sitting in the back room of my grandma’s house with the door locked so I could have some privacy. My boyfriend at the time, the love of my life RJ, was on his way to bid me farewell as the summer came to an end and it was time to return to reality “School”. Sitting there in the darkness I cried to myself thinking about the distant friendship for the next 7 months. I listened to New Edition “Lost in Love” over and over until I heard a noise. The sound was faint but clearly it was a tap on the window. Without thinking I immediately pulled the curtains back more like heavy ugly drapery to peep into the darkness and not to my surprise there was my friend, my first love sitting outside my grandma’s house waiting for me to open/crack the window. I put my finger up to my lips to shush him so that I could check to make sure the coast was clear. Ever so quietly I opened the door and I approached the kitchen cautiously.  To play it off I walked directly to the sink as if I was getting some water.  Carefully I tip toed to  peep into the den to see what grandma and grand daddy were doing. They both were sitting in their recliner while the baseball game was watching grand daddy and a book was holding up grandma eye glasses. Yes! I crept back to the kitchen ditched the water and tip toed back to my room to partake in farewell kisses with my first love.  The windows were old, the type that had a handle that you twisted and the window pane moved outward at an angle. Just as I hit play on the cassette player to restart our song I heard footsteps….Dang it!!!!  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I don’t remember

I don’t remember

I don’t remember

I don’t remember

I don’t remember

What don’t I remember

There are a lot of things I don’t remember. It is disturbing trying to recall events in my life that I know occurred but I can not quite grasp the detail of what happened. There are some things I just flat out can not conjure up back into existence no matter how hard I try.  I really don’t remember much of my 6^th grade year. I have floating memories of 7^th and 8^th but nothing really concrete. Maybe if I try hard enough and just jot down what I do remember it is a possibility the gaps will come back to me. Sigh*****  I really don’t remember. Well that just goes to show how important journaling is because if I had been encouraged  to write I could have a written a book “Diary of a Kid to Remember…..”