Be careful what you ask for…
Sunday night I put in a small request to my fellow facebook friends to give me a word, any word and I would do a random Blog about it, ya know for practice purposes only! Basically to work out the kinks and improve my writing skills. No biggie, how difficult could it be right? WRONG! Along comes Angie with …….
HEADSHIP
At first I thought the word was made up, she playing games, Angie got jokes! No need to embarrass myself right away, I will do that later if I must so instead of inquiring further with my fellow facebookian, I asked my hubby! Guess what.. he had no idea what it meant. He was as perplexed as I was and probably had a dirty thought or 2 like I did. In all honesty, I was surprised because he is usually a bank of useful, and useless information. My first dead end, no problem I have other resources namely the internet so I pulled up old reliable, ‘Google’…..
HEADSHIP: A position of authority or leadership
Head has 3 meanings in English:
* A person’s literal head connected to the human body
* Authority, leadership
* A beginning point of something
To my surprise an assortment of links appeared on the webpage. There were very few traditional definitions nothing major and many traditional references to religion, many scriptures in the Bible related to husband and wife, Jesus and marriage. My interest is peaked now because this is the kind of thing that people tend to stay away from, like politics. Any dealings with Religion, the sanctity of marriage is typically off limits to most these days due to the overwhelming rise in non traditional relationships.
The more I read on the topic it became more and more familiar and relatable. Thoughts, feelings surfaced that I have dealt with in past relationships, growing up in church and I immediately wanted to write and share my RANDOM thoughts on this taboo topic. This is truly personal to me or at least I am making it personal. Under the duress of a previous relationship and circumstances this topic can also be unsettling and a bit unnerving to say the least….
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her, Ephesians 5:25
In the back of the apartment complex where I squatted for part of my childhood years, my friend Fred said “Go over there and get those rocks so we can build a creek for the crawfish” I puffed out my chest, looked at Fred square in the eyes and said with attitude “you not the boss of me Fred, you get the rocks and I will get the water” Fred and I stared at one another then he digressed put his head down and proceeded to collect the rocks. “ I thought so!” I said with confidence because I defeated my friend in the battle of the sexes. This was one of many challenges I faced growing up in dealing with male friends or boy friends.
I was bound and determined not to allow anyone rule over me as I saw my mother being bullied by her husband. Church was not a requirement at home when I was with my mom during the school year but during the summer that was a different story. My Grandma B was totally different, no exceptions we attended church every Sunday, Wednesday any other day she saw fit. This is where I learned certain things in the Bible that would be relevant in my adult years. My Grandma worked, cooked, cleaned, served my Grandpa’s every request. Once again, I said, “Not me! If we both sitting in the recliner watching a TV show and he wants milk, he can get up and get his milk” I never understood why she did all she did for him while he sat around spewing orders. Watching the women in my life being bossed around by a boy was not cool. I did not like it nor did I understand it. I made it my personal mission to take a stance and show them that no one was the boss of me, then I got married ………………
I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of every woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. 1 Cor 11:3
As a child while attending numerous church services and Sunday school, bible class it was taught and reinforced that when a man and a woman married, the man is in charge of his household and the woman is the subservant because God said so. And that is what my little ears heard. The boys in church heads got so big because they thought they were superior to girls because of the message taught. I will venture to say some of these same boys misuse the scripture as an adults.
It is no secret that men, most men view themselves as the dominate, superior being whether they are married or not. And in my experience (my ex) base their view on misquoted scripture and traditional lies taught to them by other misguided ignorant men.
Time, and experience will change the way you view relationships as well as people in your life. As I have gotten older I understand now that the relationship between husband and wife is the example used as the foundation for describing Gods relationship with us the body of Christ. If a woman goes against her husband she is going against God. I am not without sin, I back slide and ignorance set in and I get an attitude and stand firm that as long as I work and have to contribute no man will tell me what to do. (Old habits die hard…what can I say)
My ex-husband, abused and misused the scripture for his own selfish benefit and basically denoted me to subservient status for many years. No way, no how is it easy taking orders, which I like to call positive direction. In my opinion, like anything headship has been taken out of context. In order to clearly understand HEADSHIP one must have a base understanding of Gods creation, and the intent. Many people today are growing up in homes where biblical headship is unheard of because of single parenting, same sex relations, working parents, and other non traditional role models. All relationships require order otherwise there would be chaos.
I wrote all that to write this….My man, my husband, my partner for life is the head of our household, and because he is the headship doesn’t mean everything he says goes because if he tries to pull anything that is against the word of God, I will not be involved. I let my man be the man in all his imperfections because when he makes that decision that I know and have shared with him during pillow talk that it will not work and he does it anyway……..I am right there to support to my man with words of wisdom. I TOLD YOU SO!
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5 22-33
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
