Every year its always the same ole thing...reflecting on ourselves to be better for the new year. Where is the resolve to be better all the time. Reflection on changing is not a 1x deal but a lift time agreement with yourself to be better, do better and become better. To be honest, how often do we, any of us follow through on any of the things we want to change about ourselves. And from my experience once the drinking ends so does the resolution so lets be real.....are you really going to:
Eat right
Exercise
Go back to school
Be a better parent
Be a better spouse
Quit smoking
Get Religion
Quit drinking
Pay off debt
Clean up and organize the house
Stop cursing
Take a vacation
Save for a rainny day......and the list goes on and on
This year I changed my view on resolutions, this year I decided to make a commitment to me in 2011. 2010 has been hard people, truth be told the last few years have been hard. It has been hard adjusting to Texas, being away from family and friends. Since I connected with so many folks on facebook that are in Orlando and family in Perry, I wanna go home. The need, the urge, to go home is so overwhelming and it was killing me softly. This sadness consumed me and hurt my relationship with my husband, I blamed him for not having a family like mine, a family that like to be around each other, I blamed him for not being family to me, helping me integrate into his life and become friends with his friends and family with his family. This sadness impacted my relationship with my children, I make them feel guilty for missing their family and me not being enough and wanting to go back to Florida, I blamed them for all the unhappy times we experienced together while here in Texas. I was toxic...
It is my responsibility to be an example of family...I'm not perfect but there is no harm in striving to be. Home is where the heart is and my family in Florida are in my heart wherever I am and wherever they are so there is no need to be sad! Right?
Resolutions are for losers, but a commitment is Truth,
Wikipedia defines commitment as showing loyalty, a duty, a pledge to yourself or others.
Yes Commitment is in the NYR definition as well, but look at the circumstances under which you resolve to be different....its the holidays, your eating, drinking, etc. Let's be real your happy and its easy to say you will be different and once the party end so does the NYR because it is linked to a once a year tradition. Nobody really holds you acccountable to the NYR because they are not held to theirs. What if you make a commitment to yourself and thru your truth you remind yourself of your commitment..write it in your journal, put in a sticky note in your Bible, write it down and us it as a place holder in your favorite book, remind your self everyday when you look in the mirror that its time to make the change.
I commit in 2011 to be grateful that I have my children, a good husband, awesome in laws (Michele, Ian and Lavonda) and serrogant family's like the Williams family and my Sisters of Spring that have kept me entertained and grounded with their friendship.
Now when I think of home, I miss my mom, dad, sisters and brothers but I will be okay because I talk with them regularly and I plan on visiting as often as I can and hopefully they will do the same. I will no longer allow the distance to become a black hole but the distance is now a commitment to save money so I can visit with my family more often. I have so many things to be grateful for and I have come too far to sit in the dark. I am not saying it is not going to be easy but it will definitely make things a litter easier to deal with. So I say to everyone that reads this.....Commit to yourself the things you want to change about you and hold yourself accountable to you. Besides if you let your self down, who are you hurting really?. And like I always say to myself 'Dont nobody love me like I love me'!
One thing I say I've learn this past year of my life if nothing else....people change with or without you!
As always....
Don't Judge Me
Cheers
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