Reject me or Accept me

"I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn't."  ~Marilyn Monroe~

My mother during a difficult time gave birth to a baby girl named Carisma, Me. I am Carisma which means extraordinary power, majestic leadership and magnetic.  My charm and endurance has gotten me through some difficult times that an ordinary person would fall under.  Carisma that is me, a powerhouse of a woman that has exceeded all expectations placed on her by many and all that claimed I was doomed to fail.  I showed them all and I continue to show and prove that I am Carisma my mother's first child.

The view is so peaceful and serene.  Staring out the window watching all the people go by and wondering what their life must be like is my daily meditation.  Sitting in my plush office with everything a woman could ask for, I sometimes think how I made it this far.  My life hasn't been easy but I worked for everything I have ever gotten.  Often I step outside of myself to take a peek at the person that is getting so much attention, for me the view is different and distorted. I do not see what others see.  I see a woman that has endured a lot, worn out and at times look broken.  I am a fake, not real by any stretch of the imagination.  People see what you have, what you have accomplished and want what you can give them and nothing else.  Eventually you find yourself presenting to them what they want, trying to live up to the standards that are set up by some unwritten rule, society standards, parents standards, work standards, or what others want you to be.  The image I portray to the world is not who I really am, I am complicated even to myself.  Sometimes I do not even know who I am! Why cant I be me , the me I know I can be, the me I know and love and others may also learn to love that me as well.

Many people have crossed my path on my journey to the top, some good some not so good but it wasn't until 'her' that my life changed.  A chance encounter with her changed everything.  Chastity altered something in me, it was a light, a spark it was real.  People, and things around me no longer mattered and I started to become who I was meant to be.....'me'.  My life changed and the 'me' I know I could be was not what everyone wanted to see, I was no longer accepted. Many things will change. Many will get hurt. Nothing will ever be the same again.

Chastity is the other side of me..Chastity is me