Definitely a long week, but by the Grace of God I made it! Darkness had moved in and settled for a moment but I fought a good fight and I see the light. No need to be fake here, where I write. I am fully aware that a lot of my unhappiness is me, it is all about me and up to me to think, feel and act differently. Soon and very soon, I plan on changing the way I view things through this narrow lens I have created.
Right now, thinking, praying, smiling and wanting to cry. There is no way I can be in Florida, sad? Yes, but is this the end of the world? No! I just need to change the way I think about it. My kids are with me, happy and healthy and my family seems to be moving along. Another year, another promise to be in a position to visit more often or at least during the holidays.
Faced with problems that are long way from being resolved is not easy to deal with especially during this time of the year. My feelings are not always fair and my feels partial to me (smile), but it is the way I feel (good, bad, indifferent). Sadly I can honestly say I have never been a relationship where I am first and not a after thought.
Sigh* ....the more I write the better I feel. There is so much to be grateful for in my life. Really?
I accept responsibility and accountability for my life, it starts with me and ends with me.
Family, friends, all relationships are what you make it. I can do better. Be a better mother, a better wife, a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, an overall better person. Happiness is a decision, and I truly want to be happy and it starts with me, it starts with me being happy with me. How hard can it be to accept oneself? How hard is it to love oneself? ...not easy when I never felt love or acceptance from anyone.
I miss my Grandma
Today is a beautiful day
and I am grateful for all
that I have and for those
that love me
Wheezy~
No comments:
Post a Comment