People influence our lives, some for the better and some not so much. Think of someone who impacted you in some way, a life-changing experience, or just one person who has affected you and left a footprint.
To my family and kids,
Every mistake I have ever made, I asked myself, “Why does it take all this to learn a lesson.” Well now I know why. Life is an experience that you only live once, but mistakes you re-live over and over again during a life time and once you get smart enough to realize what is important the mistakes become miniscule.
I want to personally thank everyone for loving me in spite of me. Through the course of my life and even now you put up with my funny ways, attitude, and smart mouth and OCD moments and for that I love you.
Grandma B: Words can not describe the value you brought into my life. No matter how lazy I was, or how much I lied about the stupidest stuff, you still loved me unconditionally. I look back at our time together and those summers and it’s almost a blur but I know this much, ‘you made me wash them dishes’. And for that I thank you. Thank you for waking me up at 5 am to get ready for church when it started at 9 am. Thank you for making me clean up your mess even when I refused because it was not my mess. Thank you helping my mother with us so she could be there for us when we needed her to be. Thank you for being you. You are missed and forever loved. You were our heartbeat and through that I remain strong in all things and for that I thank you. I love you.
Mom: What can I say ma? I am your eldest daughter and you are my only mother. We had some difficult times, but I always knew you were there and waned the best for me. It may have seemed like I didn’t appreciate everything you did for me but I did. As embarrassing as it was, I appreciated the home made clothes, the knock off designer clothes that I turned my nose up at, I understand now how hard it is to parent alone (emotionally and financially). Through all the screaming and mean mom stuff, I knew you were looking out for what was best for me. As I look back; I am who I am because of you and only you. I saw a hard working mother; you worked 2 and 3 jobs to make ends meet. You never gave up even when times were hard and we had some hard times in Washington D.C and in Florida. Thank you for being an example of strength. Thank you for being so patient and loving me when I didn’t even love myself. I love you for everything.
Vernon: In the beginning I didn’t know any better and thought you were my everything. I compared my little boyfriends to you and none of them could compare to my daddy. You my daddy growing up and I loved you unconditionally. You played a pivotal part in my life and the majority of my relationships and mistakes were based on what I got from you. Do not get me wrong, I had free will and home training to do and make all my choices but a father is so suppose to be an example for a daughter of what to look for in a good man. I say all that to say this, I do love you and because of you and what I went through and I love me some me. No one is perfect but we are accountable especially to our children. My heart won’t allow me to harbor any ill feeling toward you because everyone deserves to be loved even when they don’t deserve it. I do love you I always have despite of, you just never took the time to know it and appreciate it. However I do cherish the times you did spend with me. You had me up late at night listening to Malcolm X and you preaching power to the people. I appreciate you telling me to act like a lady when I wasn’t. I appreciate you telling me how I looked and acted through the eyes of a man. I can appreciate a lot of things because you did bring value to my life in some ways. I remember we were bike riding down a street in Perry and a dog start chasing me and I yelled “Daddy help”, you turned around and kicked that dog. You were my hero that day. That was the first and last time I called you daddy. I love you because that is all I know how to do when it comes to you.
Yasha: My dear sweet “blond” sister. Girl we have had some times together haven’t we? We can do “remember when” and never run out of things to discuss. Time does fly when you are having fun. We were like yin and yang, and the odd couple, in a way, loved each others faults but so completely different. I know I have not been the best example for you growing up but I definitely made an entrance. I laid the foundation of what NOT to do..lol! “Little Ms. Perfect Yasha’, Girl I was so jealous of you when you were born, so black, chubby and pretty, you took all my thunder. Whether you know it or not you are my best friend. Time, experiences and many people have changed a lot of things between us but all in all I know I can depend on you. I look to you for good advice which is not necessarily what I always to hear but what I needed to hear and I look to others to co-sign on my BS. Thanks for taking my verbal butt whooping in stride. I was so proud of you because I loved your strength when it came to men, loyalty to your family and commitment to your career/education. That was supposed to be me, my life, single, going to school, enjoying life and friends and I lived vicariously through you. In my eyes you have always had it easy and I envied that. Now I know it was not all easy but it looked that way because you have such a good personality and attitude. You are an inspiration. Always upbeat even when you sad and always have nice things to about people even when they have wronged you. Do me one favor—stop being a tattle tale. I love ya gal!
Lawrence: The youngest hell raiser in the family. Always passionate about being mad at something. When you were young I got into trouble if I did or if I didn’t when it came to you. I loved and hated you at the same time. You were the child mommy made no secret about that she always wanted…a boy! So I took it upon myself to torture you, if I was going to get into trouble for doing nothing I might as well make it worth it! Lol. Kidding. We are two peas in a pod. Same side of the coin yet different. Weird right? I guess that is why we were not really close because we were too much alike, hot headed, rude, vocal and always ready to fight. Well we grown now. I have to say I am so proud of you. You are a darn good father, considering you had no example, you doing darn good! Life isn’t easy but the worst thing a man can do is make excuses. Excuses hold you hostage to failure, giving up and never trying. You have so many skills, lil bro put them to work and make it happen. Success is not over night it is on-going. Be a good example to your daughters so that they understand that no matter whatever the obstacle ‘keep it moving’. Life to short and you do not want to leave behind regrets, but memories. Love ya bro!
Diontrae’: Me being a young mother we kind of grew up together with me being more like a friend than a mother. You turned out well, if I do say so myself. I know I was not all that you needed me to be but just know I did the best I could with what little I knew. And if I had to do things all over again, I wouldn’t miss a beat with you. You are the best kid ever and a joy, and heartbeat of my life. When I tell people about my children I always say “D is my best child, no issues. I can honestly say behavior wise, I had no issues, no drama. You were always different, unique and I admire that about you. You choose friends carefully, and surround yourself with what makes you happy. You have always stood for something, which is why you don’t fall for anything. I am so proud of you and all that you have accomplished. I love you for who are and I love me some you.
Tiauna: My Rock. Since the day you were born, the way you forcefully pushed your way out without waiting on the doctor or me and tore my butt up (literally), I knew you were my strongest child in love, commitment, and life You have always been so passionate and strong willed but meek and humble also. It was because of your strength that I leaned on you for support during some difficult times and now I know I leaned a little too much and too often. Any mistakes you have made, I do except my part of the responsibility because you grew up to soon. We have all made mistakes dear, the key to mistakes is learning from them. I am absolutely proud of the turn around in your attitude, grades and commitment to be better. Regardless of what anyone says, you have always lived by your own rules and shy (putting it mildly) away from anyone telling you what to do. Continue to stand firm in what you believe and in your opinions but be open to making adjustments in order to self improve. I have always told you that you were no accident, planned from the beginning, meant to be here. I have confidence that you will be successful in your career and life. I love you.
Malik: In Arabic means King—to possess, acquire, to be the owner of, to control, dominate, to exercise power; In Asia it means Leader. Born August 11 a Leo: Ambitious, courageous, strong willed, positive, independent, and self-confident. Born to lead
“The Wiz”! When Malik comes, he is always blazing whether it is physically or verbally in any given situation. One thing I know I can count on with you….your opinion, at times unwanted, unsolicited and unappreciated and it’s always on time. Man you were ‘TAZMANIA” as a child. If you didn’t look so much like your dad, I would have thought you switched at birth. Such a boisterous personality, you are on both sides of the crazy coin, more so on your dad side than mine. (smile) You definitely made me work at this parent thing, no room for parent slacking when it came to you. You have grown into a handsome young man that I take 100% credit in molding. You are honest about what you feel, passionate about what want, committed to things you want in life. The random, witty remarks are not only funny but worth writing down for a future best seller (consider it). You definitely have a personality of a leader. I admire your eagerness to learn, ask questions that no one else will dare to ask and listen when you want to learn something new. Your focus is prejudiced but when you commit you give 100%. I love your protective, territorial nature and instincts when it comes to me. Selfish as you are I always feel your love for me. It makes me feel so good that you are aware of how people treat me and other people you care about. You always say “I want a man to treat my momma like a Queen and to be respectful”. You open doors for me, hug me when I am sad, correct me when I am wrong, defend me when I am scared. I couldn’t ask for a better man in my life. Continue to be the example you preach about. Continue to be you. Never give up on your dreams because you can do and be anything you want. You are meant to do great things hence MALIK. For me: Stay on a positive path and stick to your dreams and never give up on yourself. Nothing is easy, and anything worth having requires hard work.
PS. When you make it to the NBA, I will hold you to that promise of buying me that big fancy house.
Wheezy~~
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