This Weeks 'Mental' Purge ...better late than never

 

"A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water."
― Eleanor Roosevelt

 

There are so many things that have happened over this past week. I am feeling overwhelmed because I have not written in my journal  plus I am late with my blog post. But get ready I am about to taint your lives with my drama and life in the The White ....

First let me start off by saying with tears of joy, that we had NO KIDS the entire Easter weekend starting on Thursday. Preacher, Uno and Russia all had plans of their own. Friday was freeing. I was able to get some writing done, and kick start this blog. Yay for quiet time.  We visited Papa Smurfs home town to check on a few folks that we haven’t seen in a while. I swear that side of the family is awesome, pure breath of fresh air. I wish we made time to visit more often.  There is something to be said about sitting on the car porch, under a tree with a drink, swatting flies, talking shit and dodging the sun..down home country living is good living. We tried out a new spot for crawfish, then headed home to watch our recorded shows and relax. Crawfish were nasty.

 

Saturday was more of the same except I woke up with a burst of energy. I washed the car, cleaned the house and wash clothes and found time to write a few things for this blog. Then off to the kiddy party. Anyone who knows me know that I DO NOT LIKE kids. Let me be clear, I would never harm a child unless provoked however I would rather not be in their presence for a long period of time. People always ask me if I do not like kids why did I have 3? Well simple, I was young dumb and full of ..never mind, you get the picture. I have no regrets and I love my kids dearly but I still do not like kids. Never the less I had to represent, support my boo bear (I haven’t found a cool name for her yet so boo bear will do for now) who is always there for me.  Regardless of the company I was going to forced to keep … out laws, Papa Smurf and I headed to the party. Things were going nicely, kids were away from me out side playing, and the adults were mingling. Then came that knock, and true to form only ignorant certain people walk into a house and don’t speak. I didn’t get to see everyone that I wanted to see because some people specialize in being late to gatherings. Any who, I enjoyed the time I was there, made my presence known. We bounced after Papa Smurf was full of hot dogs and blue shaved ice. I went home to eat salmon and salad, because by the time we arrived at the kiddy party, my hunger was too far gone to indulge in a hot dog. Sorry boo bear it was me not you J

 

Easter is celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ and that we did. Sunday my hubby and I started off our day at Trinity Garden Church of Christ at 8am service, and we were actually not that late for a change Needless to say, the weekend was great! Then they all came home

 

I didn’t originally define a word count quota but I have a pretty good idea when folks get tired of reading so I am going to wrap this week up as fast I can. I started off with my annual pap (see picture) .. sorry but you would think with the evolution of medicine that we as woman would not have to sit up, caked up, with our ass in someone face while they violate us with a steel spectrum that if used incorrectly could pinch sensitive skin. Anyway, I did confirm that although I cannot carry a child, my parts are still manufacturing eggs.  Preacher has an attitude (most likely due to girlfriend drama) which is nothing new.  I am at the point now that I have to ignore him for my sake because he is gonna get a quick punch to the throat which could land me in jail which if you think about it could be a good thing if I had a book and didn't have to share a cell.  He broke another phone and lost his 2^nd retainer. Yet he mad at me. #WTF.  Russia needs her hair did, so she is on a mission to get it done by any means necessary. I won’t mention that she was at Drainea house since Thursday. She was also late turning in a project because she didn't ask questions or attend tutoring however it was the teachers fault she was late. #WTF. Uno is Uno, walks around with his head in the clouds searching for an answer yet never asked the question. Anyway, the beat goes on … tick tock tick tock. I have therapy on Thursday and he better not cancel on me. HE CANCELED I have no patience for doctors with a 2^nd a job.  Correct me if I am wrong but I think the Crawfish festival starts this Friday..yesterday since I am posting late. Too bad this is not my pay week.

 

My picture perfect week in no particular order ..

the devil

Held Hostage

Magnolia

The Brush

Landscape Entire view

Wine Tasting

Blogger Stations

Basketball practicw

No Caption needed

Eye Threading

Cooking

More Wine

Cleaning

 

#MyLife I live it one pill at a time.

Monroe Bishop

 

CAST

I have been thinking about this blog a lot the past few weeks, days, hours, (TODAY) trying to decide on what direction to take, how much I want to share and what this really means to me. I came to the conclusion that it’s not just about blended families and our struggles; it is about life, change and growth. Please note that this blog is a work in progress, and is continuously under construction because I am a woman, it is my blog and I have a right to change my mind! (Notice I didn't post on Friday).

After much thought (and prayer), I have decided to refrain from using names, to protect the innocent from the guilty. For those of you know me, I am sure you can figure it out (previous post..shh). However I will not be the bearer of the whole truth, just mine. So without further ado, I would like to introduce you to this NON TRADITIONAL FAMILY.  There will more introductions later

US

Me of course. Wonder woman aka Monroe. I am a mother, daughter, sister, friend, motivator, cheerleader but most of the all I am the unofficial leader of the clan. I have all the responsibilities but not the power. Like I said before MOTHER OF ALL yet MASTER OF NONE.  I love unconditionally  and manage the needs of everyone regardless of my state of mind I am happy, sad, mad, crying or depressed (no one cares). I don’t like kids PERIOD, but if you mess with any of mine, I coming for ya. I am always tired, because I do the most, so I partake in wine tasting all the time, occasionally. #Democrat #Writer

 

Papa Smurf is the unofficial leader, the provider, the soft spoken person amongst the loud and rowdy (mostly me). His superpowers is “patience” because it takes him a while to get to that point, but when he does… whatchoutnow! He has so much to say yet no one listens because he is always processing the thought.  Sweet, God-fearing man who rarely curses, or drinks yet when mad he curses and drink.  Papa Smurf is our rock, he keeps us grounded although he is forgetful. HE is the not so fun parent who only speaks to kids when necessary which usually includes a long speech and a bible scripture. #Republican

 

Them

 

 

 

 

Moss is Quiet, too himself most of the time. If he doesn’t speak you wouldn’t know he was there. His super powers is having the ability of “Out of sight out of mind”. Do not let this quiet as its kept demeanor fool you. He has the personality of a rock star and creativity out of this universe.  I always say, still waters run deep. #Liberal #Photographer

 

 Snow is a typical teenage girl, moody as hell. Her super powers is “mind control” and is very rebellious when things are not going her way. She has a heart of gold, giving spirit and will give you her last. She is my free spirit, doesn’t care what anyone thinks and she will kick ass and not bother to ask for a name. Super loyal to those she love. #Republican

 

 

 

Preacher is slicker that slick. His super powers is “Charm”, which comes two ways, tantrum and his smile. Quick with his tongue, very witty, and he will talk circles around you. Go ahead make him mad, I dare you, he will either curse you out or cry #Republican

 

 Uno is the sweetest, kindest, most giving, sneakiest person you would ever meet. His super power is ‘playing dumb’.  It really is a thin between innocence and sneaky, so when having a conversation with him, record it to play it back later in order to fit the puzzle together. Each day you never know what your going to get hence the two pictures. Everything is either HOT/Cold, Black/White .. never easy. He believes people are genuinely good but when you cross him, you will get cutoff! #Liberal
 

 

Russia is a pistol. You never know what you are going to get with this one either. She could be smiling but mad which means she is plotting. Her super powers is “deflecting”.  When caught in a midst of a doing something wrong the subject changes so fast you forget she got caught. Super tough demeanor but will cry in a minute. She also has the innate ability to read lips, hear whispers and crack codes when adults are speaking. Be careful, she is watching you AlWAYS. #Republican

 

 

 

 

 

Others

 

Wolf (in sheeps clothing) has got all the sense in the world but don’t know how to use it which makes him dumb as hell.  Superpowers are being a ‘fake bully’. He talk so much shit he will have you believing the things he is saying about you. And he can whip your ass physically with words.  He is a pill away from being diagnosed as bi-polarized. Be prepared because you never know what you are gonna get on a minute by minute basis, its either a comedy show or knife in the back. Armor up before talking to this one #Confused

Drainea (pronounce Drain-ya) is a trip.  Supers powers is “Damsel in distress”. She will woo you into her web of deceit with a flowery voice that skips in your direction.  Once in your personal space, she pounces with never ending excuses, sickness and whoasme  accolades.  Take heed she is the Damsel that cries wolf. #SuperDuperSuckthelifeoutofyouDemocrat. I thought about adding a second picture but nawww, this sums it up!

The Resurrection of ME... Part 2

~~~~

The Resurrection of ME... Part 2

Survival à During this unexpected life experience I continuously slap a smile on my face and bulldoze my way thru as a wife, and mother and step mother as the EXs get more and more out of control.  My ex avoids child support like the plague, call me names, threatens me and the ex-wife (nice way of putting it) has been a strain emotionally and financially as she continues to intentionally manipulate the dynamics of our family. If it isn’t one thing it is another… the Ex’s, kids, money, in-laws, family or each other. It was almost to the point of no return with our relationship. My hubby and I decided to take a step back re-evaluate our situation to overcome one issue at a time. We started with BOUNDARIES … back the f**k up and let ME (US) breathe!!!!!!!!!!!! (sorry I self diagnosed myself with turrets)

This new blog journey is all the way real. Real experiences, real situations, feelings etc. etc. … I am and always have been an open book, which is my own personal therapy. If you do not want your story told then you should HAVE NOT included me. LIFE IN THE WHITEHOUSE (the off brand) is my story, my journey, MY TRUTH. My crazy!

Housekeeping à

These blogs will be posted every FRIDAY (fingers crossed) and will include my journey as a wife, mother of all master of none, and my journey to self-love and mental stability. I have researched the “Step MOM” phenomenon to prove that crazy was bestowed upon me and it is really not me, IT’S THEM. Seriously folks, I see crazy people and they walk around disguised as family. Basically I am proving that my trip from the mountain top to the valley was not by choice but by force. I have felt a lone for a very long time so I figured it had to be others in this valley also and sure enough there were others who had experienced the wife/mom/stepmom blues.  However most of them were almost out of the valley on their way back to the mountain top. The ones that remained where hopeless. Here I am trying to validate my thoughts, feelings, reactions to the bull-ish that I inherited and others had been there and done that. Who knew there was a solution to this blended family thing? I didn’t and still don’t, I take it one day at a time. Now here I am sitting in the valley damn near alone with a glass of wine of course, thinking where do I go from here? It did not take long to figure it out. Most of the stepmoms exiting the valley via their blog focused on cohesiveness, celebrating family, playing nice with the ex’s, basically KUMBAYA moments .. No ma’am not this BLOG. I am keeping it 100%  ME real which will include all my crazy and happy moments!  However I have not decided whether I should change the names of the trifling or if I really want to embarrass the kids. After another sip of wine, I decided HELL YEAH I wanna embarrass the kids! But still trying to decide how to deal with the trifling.  Decision, decisions.  Hopefully in a weird, crazy sort of way, this will help others cope and walk away from the ledge one pill at a time. But before I officially begin ………

DISCLAIMER:  For the narcissistic outsiders (the ex’s) who think I am talking about you I AM, however this is all about ME, not you!

YOU CAN’T KEEP A GOOD WOMAN DOWN……..especially when she has a glass or bottle of wine in her hand.

 

Monroe Bishop



The Resurrection of ME~~~~~

The Resurrection of ME

Whoever said, "HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE" they were right and betcha it was man…. #SMARTMAN Um hum! Somehow, somewhere down the line it is now being said that “A Stress free Mom is a Happy Mom” and betcha no one knows where this one came from because kids could careless about their moms stress level.  I said all that to say this ….I HAVE RESURRECTED ME!

 

Somewhere during my experience I got lost. So I took a well-deserved break to gather my thoughts and reclaim my SANITY! Some of you may or may not have noticed but I was falling downhill fast as hell.  It had gotten to the point that I couldn’t handle everyday life. The smallest things would set me off.

 

Some days I would wake really sad and drag assing through my day. My irritability was off the Richter scale, my husband and kids were running from me. I got mad when the talked to me and I got mad when they avoided me, it was a no win situation. The sad part is, no matter how hard I tried I could snap out of it.  I did a lot of yelling, lost a lot sleep and I had no energy. I was basically close to the LEDGE, but I wasn’t ready to jump!

Fast forward to today … I FEEL FABULOUS. Do not get me wrong I have my days but I cope a lot better under stress than I have in the past. I face each day, knowing that everything is not a ISSUE, I only deal with what is in my CONTROL, and I set up BOUNDARIES … your problem is no longer mine! Finally ..I am HAPPY!!!!!

The new found happiness has led to me writing UP TO chapters 6 of my long a waited book, and resurrecting my blog. Life is good.

Life In the White House … Chapter 3: SCREAMING is open for sharing, laughing, crying and loving life God gave me. Yawl ready...WHO CARES I AM!!! and yes I am SCREAMING!!!  

#HappyMe #WritingisFundamental #IamDrivingNOTyou #Sitbackandshutup #ITSallaboutME

By Monroe Bishop

 



Declaration of SELF.....

 

I am so emotional...

I reek of immaturity when I am mad

I walk looking down not to avoid eye contact but because I'm afraid of stepping in gum

When I cook I have to make my plate first

I do not like folks dropping by my house unannounced

It is what it is .....Its Me!

 



I am so emotional....

I use to eat catfish now I'm booshie so I eat Tilapia

I love love food that makes my breath stink

If need be, I would get a pay day loan to buy a pair of shoes

I love the Lord, my relationship is between my God and Me

It is what it is.... Its ME!

 

 

I dont like kids so dont ask me to babysit

Wine is always the answer ... for me

I work because I have to not because I want to

Secretly I always wanted a tongue ring

It is what it is.... Its ME!

 

I wanna be a bartender

I always dreamt of the house with a white picket fence...oh yeah and a husband

My long term memory is short

My short term memory is even shorter

I journal so when I die I leave behind how I really felt

It is what it is....Its ME!

 

And FINALLY ....

I am afraid of clowns and the bottom of shoes

My secret crush is .... SIKE I'm not telling

My toes have always been ugly but I show them anyway

Therapy works (I should know)

I am firm believer in 'Medication Needed' and 'Whenever Necessary'

I am a bad listener except when you are talking about me

I always forget the steps to the Cupid Shuffle until I hear the lyrics

IT IS WHAT IT IS....its me!

 

 

 

 

 

Weekly 'Mental' Purge

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

 

 

Okay so this blog thing is not working out a planned. This past week has been super crazy to say the least. We, me, I am in the middle of a year end cycle at work with the sole purpose of ensuring that all employees W2 statements are accurate. So forgive me for this super late posting, late material, past thoughts and sporatic randomness. #Tired.com #NoSleepatAll #BusyMom #PlumTired


With Thanksgiving in the past, thanks to the kids constantly reminding me of their Christmas debt wish list I know December is super close. I am so not ready for the holidays. Yet, this is my favorite time of the year.  We typically pull the tree out of the attic to decorate although my dear sweet hubby has yet to take down the decorations from the attic. #PatientlyWaiting. O_o   There is really no set tradition in the White House other than me trying to decide which color scheme to decorate for that year. Decisions, decisions …. Any way I look forward to the best cartoons ever A Charlie Brown Christmas, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman.  The kids don’t appreciate the Christmas cartoons back in ‘my’ day but little do they know this was the time the family congregated in the living room with hot chocolate, snacks and feet pajamas to indulge in the meaning of Christmas .. Family!


This week has been exhausting, hence this late post that was due on Friday. Monday was my last day on PTO (personal time off), I did my Martin Lawrence imitation DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! It’s all good though I had a great weekend. Initially my plan was to sit around journal, catch up on my new favorite TV show The Walking Dead, sleep and just maybe (maybe) go to the gym however things do not always work out as planned. My ususal marathon of events took over, more like a possession; cooking, cleaning, washing and the list goes on and on. End of story, after all it was said and done, finally I was able to relax with a nice glass of wine. Ultimately, the pen went dry, I avoided the gym, and the TV ended up watching me BUT, I got some sleep ;)
 

In other news, let the games begin. Malik and Charity basketball games are in full effect and boy I am tired just thinking about the seemingly endless games. As much as I don’t understand the game it is really exciting to see the kids work hard with their team. Don’t laugh but I only yell when the crowd does, and repeat the chants made to the refs by another parent when a call is made against one of our players. Other than buying $1 gummy bears, greasy nachos and sour pickles and nursing a tummy ache the next day that is the extent of my basketball knowledge.  Needless to say neither of  the kids teams have won a game but the spirit of those events are memories they will cherish forever … win or lose.
 


Finally.  Hopefully next week I will be able to provide more insight into The White House. Until then, have a great weekend.

Diary of a MAD BLACK MOM

Dear Kids,

Starting today there will be a new kitchen chore added to the already long list of other things that are so conveniently forgotten.

• Fill up the Brita Water Pitcher aka holy water

If this new is task is not carried out I will be forced to punish you a ass whooping with faucet water aka the devil.

Thanks so much sweetie pies

Love
Mom