Declaration of SELF.....

 

I am so emotional...

I reek of immaturity when I am mad

I walk looking down not to avoid eye contact but because I'm afraid of stepping in gum

When I cook I have to make my plate first

I do not like folks dropping by my house unannounced

It is what it is .....Its Me!

 



I am so emotional....

I use to eat catfish now I'm booshie so I eat Tilapia

I love love food that makes my breath stink

If need be, I would get a pay day loan to buy a pair of shoes

I love the Lord, my relationship is between my God and Me

It is what it is.... Its ME!

 

 

I dont like kids so dont ask me to babysit

Wine is always the answer ... for me

I work because I have to not because I want to

Secretly I always wanted a tongue ring

It is what it is.... Its ME!

 

I wanna be a bartender

I always dreamt of the house with a white picket fence...oh yeah and a husband

My long term memory is short

My short term memory is even shorter

I journal so when I die I leave behind how I really felt

It is what it is....Its ME!

 

And FINALLY ....

I am afraid of clowns and the bottom of shoes

My secret crush is .... SIKE I'm not telling

My toes have always been ugly but I show them anyway

Therapy works (I should know)

I am firm believer in 'Medication Needed' and 'Whenever Necessary'

I am a bad listener except when you are talking about me

I always forget the steps to the Cupid Shuffle until I hear the lyrics

IT IS WHAT IT IS....its me!

 

 

 

 

 

Weekly 'Mental' Purge

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

 

 

Okay so this blog thing is not working out a planned. This past week has been super crazy to say the least. We, me, I am in the middle of a year end cycle at work with the sole purpose of ensuring that all employees W2 statements are accurate. So forgive me for this super late posting, late material, past thoughts and sporatic randomness. #Tired.com #NoSleepatAll #BusyMom #PlumTired


With Thanksgiving in the past, thanks to the kids constantly reminding me of their Christmas debt wish list I know December is super close. I am so not ready for the holidays. Yet, this is my favorite time of the year.  We typically pull the tree out of the attic to decorate although my dear sweet hubby has yet to take down the decorations from the attic. #PatientlyWaiting. O_o   There is really no set tradition in the White House other than me trying to decide which color scheme to decorate for that year. Decisions, decisions …. Any way I look forward to the best cartoons ever A Charlie Brown Christmas, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman.  The kids don’t appreciate the Christmas cartoons back in ‘my’ day but little do they know this was the time the family congregated in the living room with hot chocolate, snacks and feet pajamas to indulge in the meaning of Christmas .. Family!


This week has been exhausting, hence this late post that was due on Friday. Monday was my last day on PTO (personal time off), I did my Martin Lawrence imitation DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! It’s all good though I had a great weekend. Initially my plan was to sit around journal, catch up on my new favorite TV show The Walking Dead, sleep and just maybe (maybe) go to the gym however things do not always work out as planned. My ususal marathon of events took over, more like a possession; cooking, cleaning, washing and the list goes on and on. End of story, after all it was said and done, finally I was able to relax with a nice glass of wine. Ultimately, the pen went dry, I avoided the gym, and the TV ended up watching me BUT, I got some sleep ;)
 

In other news, let the games begin. Malik and Charity basketball games are in full effect and boy I am tired just thinking about the seemingly endless games. As much as I don’t understand the game it is really exciting to see the kids work hard with their team. Don’t laugh but I only yell when the crowd does, and repeat the chants made to the refs by another parent when a call is made against one of our players. Other than buying $1 gummy bears, greasy nachos and sour pickles and nursing a tummy ache the next day that is the extent of my basketball knowledge.  Needless to say neither of  the kids teams have won a game but the spirit of those events are memories they will cherish forever … win or lose.
 


Finally.  Hopefully next week I will be able to provide more insight into The White House. Until then, have a great weekend.

Diary of a MAD BLACK MOM

Dear Kids,

Starting today there will be a new kitchen chore added to the already long list of other things that are so conveniently forgotten.

• Fill up the Brita Water Pitcher aka holy water

If this new is task is not carried out I will be forced to punish you a ass whooping with faucet water aka the devil.

Thanks so much sweetie pies

Love
Mom

Happy Thanksgiving __ Before, During, And After

 

"I was smiling yesterday, I am smiling today and I will smile tomorrow. Simply because life is too short to cry for anything" ~Author Unknown~

 

Every year as Thanksgiving approaches I start reflecting on things I am thankful for such as family.  This time of the year is very difficult being so far away from my Florida family, knowing they are together without me,  celebrating in fun.  The tradition in the Bishop household (Orlando) is to wake up early to a big breakfast , and to lay out the strategy for the day.  Mommie always give us duties that hardly ever seem to get done (by Yasha mostly.. lol). I pitch in here and there but I claim the title of GUEST since our family travels in to visit. Mommie won't admit it but she loves the hustle and bustle of her kids/grandkids moving around getting in her way and doing absolutely nothing to help.

As we prepare to sit for dinner, sometimes (if we remember) everyone has to say what they are thankful for at the dinner table. To date, we have never shed a tear but we do have a few laughs along the way. At the end of the day I love my family and I am so thankful no matter where I am I feel included and loved.

With a sadness, a tear drop and now a smile, I have to say this year I will not make it to Florida, however a change of attitude is needed and that is exactly what I did, changed my attitude.

What am I thankful for... family, friends, my house, my job, good health ...LIFE! This Thanksgiving will be GREAT, because I am claiming it!

Thanksgiving Eve

 

Dinner at Ivy's, it sounds so sophisticated right? WHEW, is all I can say about this week. I have to laugh now because up until the actual the day the event planning process was nerve wrecking to say the least.  A intimate gathering for a few family memberss turned into a full fledged mass of confusion.  Whats on the menu Ms. Ivy ... Turkey, green beans, dressing, rolls and sweet potatoe pie. The 100lb turkey had been cooking since 12 o'clock that day so by 7pm it was still not done. Lavonda saved the day with the single family size turducken. Obviously it was not enough for everyone but no one complained besides it was 1st come 1st serve,  get in where you fit in moment! I loved it!!!!! Who says you need meat for Thanksgiving o_O

Thanksgiving Day .. A Day of Thankfulness and Servitude

Whats on the menu for today Tiffany.... Baked turkey breast in a bag, mustard greens with smoked ham hocks, red potatoe salad, rolls and butter pound cake. I must say, although it was last minute I did my thing, and put my foot up all in that.  (So say I)

Moment of Giving~
I have always wanted to involve my kids in community projects especially when it involves giving back to others.  My son Malik ONeal and I went to the Humble Civic Center to volunteer with serving others that are not as fortunate. We arrived a little late (CPT)... but I was pleasantly suprised at the turn out of givers and receivers.  We checked in at the volunteer station and was to told to find a spot, any spot.  Not to be discouraged but we went from station to station asking for a opportunity to help, the majority of the stations were full with volunteers but we squeezed in at the drink station for a bit. I have to say filling cups with ice and pouring sweet tea was not that exciting but seeing all those faces was a defining moment.  All in all it was an amazing feeling helping others, giving back and being apart of something epic. At the end, we got us a to go plate for the road.

Love of a family~
Tiauna arrived home just in time to join us for dinner at Aunt Tameria and Uncle Charles house.  Late as always, we arrived just in time to fix a plate, heat it up in the microwave and catch the last quarter of the Texans' game. After eating up some food, we all sat around talking, gossiping, and remembering moments with Madea. Listening to my hubby talk about his childhood, and the Grisby sisters talk about their childhood was entertaining. As always when it was time to clean up, I was no where to be found without my camera that is!

The atmosphere was initimate, on point and I actually felt at home. It felt like Family!

At the end of dinner, Tiauna passed out with that NIG-ITIS!

Thanksgiving..The Day After

A day of rest, reflection and did I mention REST? I am off from work, with no plans other than watching TV and the TV watching me!

Happy Holidays

Well, it's been a few months since the last post, whoops! So, I figured it's high time I posted something!!!!!
Hi everyone...I know I've been MIA and it's now WINTER what can I say, plus I seem to be getting use to change, life and love on a whole new level.

 

I am not sure but something moved me to get this blog thing started again. No promises ....

 

Right now I am throwing around some ideas on what direction to take this thing in. Whatever I decide it must be important to me, entertaining enough for you and passionate.

 

Whats important to me .....GOD, ME, FAMILY, LIFE, FRIENDS AND so many other things that are renting space in my head. Basically its survival. Surviving the ups, downs and merry go rounds of life. My hope is to keep things positive, informative, and enlightening.

 

So lets see where this goes.....

 

My Life...Your Entertainment ;)

 

 

Ignorance is Bliss

What you don't know won't hurt you ....
In actuality what you don't can hurt you....

Ignorance is bliss means not knowing something is better than knowing it.  Basically a person who would rather not know the truth.

IF ignorance is bliss then why aren't more people happy?

Can we talk? .....CRASH DUMMY

Remember that song from back in the day .. Dem Dry Bones by James and Roseamund Johnson? Well on Tuesday I was in a car accident. Every day is more uncomfortable than the first day and today Dem bones popped in my head when I tried getting up this morning.

Your thigh bone connected to your hip bone,

Your hip bone connected to your back bone,

Your back bone connected to your shoulder bone,

Your shoulder bone connected to your neck bone,

Your neck bone connected to your head bone,

I hear the word of the Lord!

At the time of the accident my adrenaline was pumping, so initially I only felt the burning sensation in my leg and hip. At that time no one could not tell my hip wasn't broken. Thankfully it was not, but damn it sure feels like it's broke. Once the seat belt was removed pain radiated in my neck. I screamed like a banshee. God forbid anyone gets into a accident but if you do, it helps when the hospital is around the corner. Thankfully the doctor at Memorial Herman was quick to take me out of my misery. Shot out to pain meds... lol. 

Two days later, the pain is more intense than the first day. Newton's law is definitely relevant in my case. My body did things one would think impossible. I pride myself on being cute, however there is nothing cute when you walk with a limp. :(

According to Dr. Godard (Link is below) momentum can be transferred from one object to another. (Randomness)

Once I was settled with pain medication, my emotions and pain shifted from my body to my car. We purchased the car in November 2011, so its still a new born baby fresh out the womb. My heart hurts for Jade (yes, I named my car).  I am painfully waiting for my body to heal and my car to be repaired. Things will never be the same with my body or car. . We both have depreciated significantly.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newton's_laws_of_motion



Perfect examples of turning a moment into a movement ….

Perfect examples of turning a moment into a movement..

1 – Obvious lack of motivation. Try as I might I have fallen short of maintaining the things I once loved (and still do on some level of consciousness). My closet is a complete disaster. Once upon a time, all items were color coordinated by style, and season, now it is a lump of a mess,a lump of a mess…. Yes I duplicated so you know that I am not exaggerating. My lovely shoes have lost their home. Empty shoe boxes are thrown here, there, all over, existing where they land in hopes of one day providing a home for a cute shoe. Journaling use to be an all day daily occurrence, now my journal is lucky if I pick it up. This really saddens me... its April my journal started in February. Blog, has traveled far far away into the depths of my mind in hopes of being resurrected, rescued and written. Whatever! The gym... what can I say other than it doesn’t exist in my heart therefore my body has taken on a life of its own. My NOVEL... has abandoned me. I forgot the plot so I need to start over.  I don't need luck I got Jesus....

2 – I have totally forgotten the transition from childhood to teenager. The only way I can describe it now that I have kids is it’s like Bruce Banner changing into the Hulk. Their abilities are comparable…

• Regenerative healing – Sick one minute, completely healed the next when a party is mentioned
• High resistance to mind control – No longer listens to parents
• Vast leaping ability – Will dodge chores, and school work

-Teenagers/Hulk both have an emotional and impulsive alter ego of withdrawing; this can sometimes be described as depression however I much rather label it with subconsciously CRAZY!

-The teenager/Hulk appears shortly after he/she is accidentally exposed to the blast of hormonal changes that shock their system into thinking they are grown

-Strong emotions such as anger, terror and grief are also triggers for forcing the teenagers transformation into the Hulk. Which is usually sets in upon hearing the word ‘NO’.

3 – Doggie blues. Why me??? I love animals more specifically dogs. Yet once they reach the moment of self awareness, they lose me. Let me back this up into my dog. Bleux Martini White is a mixed Pit/Lab (just guessing), grey coat with the deep grey eyes. Very nice looking dog yet he has one major flaw ‘CHEWING’. Not the normal chew and swallow but the excessive need to constantly chew any and everything in his path. All things are chewable, which includes but not limited to...

• Shoes no matter the name brand, price or quality
• Pillows
• Blankets
• Water bottles
• Video game cords
• Cell phone chargers
• Kitchen floor linoleum
• His leash
• The corner of the couch
• My grandmother table
• His tail
• Our feet

So you see, he doesn’t discriminate on what to chew, its equal opportunity for all things in his line of vision. I have come to dislike this dog, not because he is a dog, he is doing what dogs do but because he has hypnotized the family into thinking he is sweet and innocent thereby giving him second chances and get out of cage free cards. Since I can can't stay mad at my family I am mad at Bleux.

4- The Attic. Perfect book title.  Needless to say, there is nothing perfect about my attic. The thought of cleaning the attic brings forth a rush of emotions ranging from happy, fear, mad and failure, and not exactly in this order. Originally I put things up there until I was able to make room in the house. It has been 5 years and that same stuff is still in the attic, never been touched or thought about until now. Where the heck do I begin? Please don’t laugh at my pain, there are cassette tapes, floppy disks, school books, Barbie collectable dolls,  clothes that are keepers (but not), and other misc items that I can barely remember. No space, no time, just stuffy.

5- Appliances. In this day and age, why oh why am I turning on my dryer with pliers? My refrigerator shelves are being held in place by hangers, the stove door doesn’t shut all the way therefore heat permeates the entire living space, and the dishwasher has a mind of its own, sometimes it cleans the dishes and sometimes it doesn’t. No comment needed, I am just sayin….

My chaotic self in 5 paragraphs …

Can we talk? ..

Out of the darkness 

Into the light

I still can not wash

or brush

Organization falters

Tongue is a whip

but I am almost there

Walk into the light

Out of the darkness

See your beauty

Embrace your 'YOU'

Love me

Love you 

Me, Myself and I

is all I have

Walk towards the light

Walk away from the darkness

Shine!

Can we talk?

Can we talk?

Honestly, I really just need you to listen.

Migraine à Tension headache + Blood pressure = HOT MESS

Migraine: A migraine headache can cause intense throbbing or pulsing in one area of the head and is commonly accompanied by nausea, vomiting, and extreme sensitivity to light and sound. Migraine attacks can cause significant pain for hours to days and be so severe that all you can think about is finding a dark, quiet place to lie down. (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/migraine-headache/DS00120)

Tension headache: A tension headache is generally a diffuse, mild to moderate pain that's often described as feeling like a tight band around your head. A tension headache — or tension-type headache as it's medically known — is the most common type of headache, and yet its causes aren't well understood (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/tension-headache/DS00304)

After what seemed like a long weekend of painful darkness it was time to go back to work. Tylenol had a fight on its hands and from the way things turned out, it lost. I finally broke down and went to the onsite clinic at work. The Dr. did confirm that my bp was elevated however that was not the culprit. The pain medication was fighting a loosing battle with my headache plus raising my blood pressure. 

I went from a migraine to tension headache which is now holding me hostage. It is now day # 5 and the pain has not let up. The tension behind my eyes is pulling so hard, I look as if I am in a constant state of “Im about to cry”, my neck and shoulders are balled up in knots I look like the Lou Furigno in transition of turning into the hulk. And because I am eating pain pills like candy its running my BP bazooka, not to mention my liver is in jeopardy of a nervous breakdown. The Dr has approved my BP meds in addition to advising that I see a chiropractor for a massage and a therapist for the stress. It was hard to tell but I don’t know if he was offering or suggesting. (wink wink)

My hubby suggested and had the nerve to tell me to fight thru my stress.

Him “You a soldier remember!”

Me “Please do not make me cuss! If I was in soldier mode right about now I would kill certain folks in words with what is really on my mind”

Last night my hubby and kids convinced me that  the hot tub/whirl pool and sauna at the gym would do the trick.  Needless to say it was a temporary fix. I came home balled up in bed with headache in tow. NOTHING is WORKING #sick

Who parted the Red Sea?

Someone I love dearly, and whom shall remain nameless called me yesterday to invite me into a debate at work.  Who parted the red sea?

Her:“Tiffany, who parted the red sea, it was Jesus right?”

Me:“No, it was not Jesus!”

Her: “I knew it, it was Noah right, Noah parted the red sea”

Me: “No heffa, it was Moses!!! Are you serious? Moses was leading his people from Egypt and he parted the red sea. Noah built an Arc when God destroyed the earth due to sin.”

Her: “I know his Arc parted the sea”

Me: “I am so embarrassed. We went to Sunday school, vacation bible school and bible class.

Let me tell you, I was shocked. The whole thing was funny but not. The nerve to have me on speaker phone and spouting out Jesus and Noah as if it was the right answer. Folks were laughing in the background. I do not know why I am surprised, she is truly a blond in a black woman’s body.

^{Exodus 14:15} Then the LORD said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. ¹⁶ Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground. ¹⁷ I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they will go in after them. And I will gain glory through Pharaoh and all his army, through his chariots and his horsemen. ¹⁸ The Egyptians will know that I am the LORD when I gain glory through Pharaoh, his chariots and his horsemen.” http://classic.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+14&version=NIV)

LET MY PEOPLE GO……(literally)

Fish Pond anyone?

This game is played in India (at work)....
Each person on the team (or family member) anonymously write something on a piece a paper i.e. issue, frustration, feedback about someone.  Include the name of the person being addressed then the note is placed in a container.  One person is selected to pick the notes from the bucket and read to the group.

This is a perfect way to release frustration, vent without being confrontational. This way the receiver does not feel like they are being attacked and can address the group with a response.

My comment: This game would not work here in the US especially if the group in question is a bunch of woman. The feedback would be taken personally, and a fight would break out. However it may work in family setting. Play at your own risk.

Bonus Ventilation:

Big Ang on Wendy Williams show

(http://starcasm.net/archives/139809)

Please tell me all you Wendy Williams fans, saw Big Ang from Mob Wives on her show the other day. Wendy touched very lightly (in my opinion) on the plastic surgery. Frankly I was scared, not only at them protruding lips, deep socket eyes but that voice. Big Ang has a very nice personality, seems drama free and comfy in her own skin but I find it inconceivable that someone would do that to themselves on purpose.

Can someone say “INTERVENTION”!

That thyroid riding her vocal cords like a horse needs to be addressed ASAP! Now that is a surgery worth investing in Big Ang!

Can we talk?

Budget time...

It is that time of the year again, budget time. I HATE, I HATE, I HATE holding my money hostage. I work hard, I pay my bills, I try to save ( I try) whatever is remaining should not be up for discussion but it is.

Okay I give up, and give in, lets budget. How hard can this be? Not hard at all until I want to include my shoes in this spending plan. ONE pair of shoes a month is not so bad. I am being generous with one pair a month. Apparently my heavy shoe habit is not budget worthy. I give up! This budget thing is over extending my emotions by lowering my standards to cooperate with a savings plan for my future living.  Does this make sense? No it doesn't because I am starving for a new pair of shoes.

Yep, medication definitely needed or atleast a pair of shoes...

Can we talk?

Medication is definitely needed....

I left my life wide open on my office desk. My poor sweet innocent journal could have been eye raped. How could I be so careless?

For real, For real.

Can we talk?

Medication Needed?

I am mentally and phyically exhausted. All week the need to sleep all day rode me a like a cowboy riding a bull. The rain hasn't been any help either it only added to my lethargic-ism. Doesn't matter that my work day ends at 4:00 pm because when I get home I am attacked with...

I am hungry, What's for dinner?

My teacher is stupid, she gave me a bad grade?

No I didn't do my chores, I forgot.

Ma, look at these shoes I am buying.

Honey let's go to the store.

I need some cleats for track

I want, I need, I want, I need

Ma, honey, Ms. Tiffany, Ma, honey, Ms. Tiffany. Ma, honey, Ms. Tiffany, Ma, honey, MAAAA!!!!

My mood rapidly declines from 73% to 15% when I get home because no one cares that I am tired or that look like hell on skates, feel like hell in a hand basket, just pure hell.  I literally have to go into a fit of rage by screaming, jumping up & down, and slobbing. Then they look at me like I am crazy yet I make it clear that I am tired and I need a break, just for one night. I'm conveniently ignored. After my hissy fit, they leave me alone claiming I just need to get some rest, that I am being overly dramatic for nothing. Huh?? Can someone with some sense please stand up?

I have no idea how I survive in this twilight zone of a life.

I am tired.



Black Women, White Men..whats the big deal?

LOVING ET UX. v. VIRGINIA 

In 1967, the U.S. Supreme Court delivered a ruling that changed the law regarding interracial marriage in the United States. In Loving vs. Virginia, Mildred Jeter, a black woman, and Richard Loving, a white man, left Virginia to marry in Washington D.C., where interracial marriage was legal. The couple knew their union was illegal under Virginia's Racial Integrity Act of 1924.

After their ceremony, the Lovings returned to their home in Virginia. One night, while sleeping in the their beds, the Virginia police stormed the couple's bedroom. If the couple had've been engaging in intercourse and not sleeping, they would've been charged with a bigger crime than miscegenation violation. The Lovings were charged with a felony and served one out of a possible five years in prison. They were asked to leave the state after their release. They returned to D.C, and filed a lawsuit against the state of Virginia.
Along with the American Civil Liberties Union, the Lovings' case argued that Virginia's law violated the 14th Amendment of the Constitution. The battle eventually produced a class action lawsuit in the U.S District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia.
Finally, in June 1967, the court ruled that Virginia's anti-miscegenation statute violated the Due Process Clause and the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment.
The story of the Lovings was adopted in the 1996 film called "Mr. & Mrs. Loving," starring Lela Rochon, Timothy Hutton and Ruby Dee. (http://www.blackamericaweb.com/?q=content/little-known-black-history-fact-loving-vs-virginia

Can you believe interracial dating/marriages were illegal in the US? I have no idea why I am surprised, white folks had to much time on their hands back then.  From what I heard this morning on the radio, once the Lovings returned to Virigina, SWAT was waiting outside their home to try and catch them during an intimate moment.  Once the Lovings were settled in bed the police kicked in the doors and arrested the couple.

Things sho have changed Harpo...Now, the attitudes toward interracial dating have changed dramatically…thank goodness.  In my opinion today’s generation is more open minded than previous generations yet there are some biased individuals that have strong beliefs in the sanctity of preserving their own race. Let’s have an open mind and heart towards things we may not understand.

Disclaimer#1: This posting is not a judgment on anyone. I feel we are all equal in race, color and creed.  Life is to short ….love is love is love and has no boundaries.  Besides I like having options, don’t you?

In this day and age we are seeing more and more interracial couples immerging into the dating scene. Back in the day it was mostly white women and black men but now black women are stepping out of their comfort zone from the darkness into the light.

We've (society) come to accept seeing black men with white women, it’s the norm right?  It has been said that when a black male becomes successful then the white women make themselves available to ride on the gravy train (no pun intended). When you see a black woman and a white man walking together, holding hands its weird. Well it’s weird to me. Not meaning I do not agree, but that a white man is actually in public with a black woman.  Usually the black woman is the white mans best kept secret.

I personally never cared much for interracial dating because the opportunity never presented itself until a few years ago.  Believe me, I was shocked when I was first approached and shocked because for a moment I almost forgot I was married. This man was beautiful. Of course, I did what a married woman would do, by politely declining his number and letting him know that I was happily married. But for a moment, I missed being single.  Now that I rock an afro I get offers all the time so the shock has worn off. I do not know what it is, but its something about about this soul sistah look that white men love.

Think about it people, with the percentage of unwed black women can you blame a woman for saying, "the hell with this, let me see what else is out there"? A sister has to keep her options open. Love is color blind. We all bleed the same blood. When the lights go out, it could be anybody. Besides have you seen the men of the Caucasian persuasion lately...SUPER FINE. Not like when I was young, pale, skinny a lanky. They are athletically built, fitting them jeans in all the right places. Whoa, the arms.......! Lets all have a moment of silence for the almighty arms!

Disclaimer #2: Below are some 'Common Myths' of why white men are dating black woman.  I borrowed them from a website however I forgot to document the site, so just know the bold headings are not mine just the opinion following the myth.

“He just wants some jungle booty.”

Sadly..this is the story I was told.

All men love a big booty and smile.

Let's be real, more and more black woman are settling down with white men, starting a family and having kids. Don’t you find it insulting that it could be all about her booty?  Booticious is a bit over rated so let’s squash this myth. We as black woman have more going for ourselves than an apple bottom. Let’s move on!

“She just wants good-haired babies.”

I have personally heard some of my sister girls say this very same thing.  There is something about having a kid with good hair that is attractive.  We all have a type; good hair being one of them is a bit superficial but I understand. Yet I believe this on some level. We as black woman are rated on the texture, and style of our hair. We have even gone so far as to buy hair that was grown and cut from another woman’s head just so we can have a European texture. This may seem a bit far fetch,  but the truth on some level. I will table this one for later.

 “It will never last.”

Love has no color nor does it have boundaries. Some relationships even couples where race is not an issue do not last so how is this plausible? It doesn’t take much to end a relationship, a little distrust, verbal abuse, a slap here and there and ya momma jokes will end a relationship every time.   If you’re not in it to win it then yeah it won’t last but that can happen to anyone not just interracial couples. This one is stupid.

“She hates herself.  She just doesn’t want to be black.”

In some cases this is true. It is hard being black in America, we are not given the same 'hall pass' as other races. We have to work hard, prove ourselves to close gaps the equality gap. The black man struggle. Or...

Even amongst black Americans we make a big deal about the different shades of black. Being light skinned is better than being dark skinned. Blah blah this goes way back when some slaves were allowed to live in the house while others were made to tend the fields. I do not doubt this myth in words but in deed it’s something different. How can dating outside your race change your color? You born black you will die black, nothing will change that not even marrying a white man. Another far fetched myth in my opinion. If this is in fact the case, then medication is needed not a white man.

“The white man is crazy.  No sane white dude would marry a black woman.”

What ……a white man is better than me?

Lets take it back in history one more gain (pronounced gan). White men have always loved the black women. This is evident with the mixed children (malotto) during slavery times. The only reason the relationships were hidden was because it was against the law, against white society standards, and blacks were considered property, unworthy of a white personal relationship. Besides any man would be CRAZY not to want a beautiful black queen!!

A white man marrying black women is more common now than ever. Move around myth!

“White men are only interested in light-skinned black women.”

Could be, could be NOT! I personally have seen white men with dark women with an afro wearing a dashiki, so this is absolutely not true. Once again everyone has at type and this may very well be one man’s type, and there is nothing wrong with that? For me personally, the blacker the better. Laughing out loud.

P.S. My thoughts, my opinions, my copyright~
 
The End

I asked several  Black Woman their thoughts on interracial dating…AND THE SURVEY SAYS:

(All names have been changed to protect the opinions of th possiblee ignorant..joking)

London: I say go for it. Everyday I see first hand the lack of choices when it comes to finding a good black man.. They are either gay, players or criminals. And because of the limited amount of black men I see our black woman settling for whatever they can get and making excuses for these sorry men. Our men are no longer strong and in my opinion they are cowards. I’m just saying.

BUT I have a pet peeve with our Black men dating white woman, especially our successful black men. They grow up poor seeing their mother, sisters and grandmother struggle then they marry a white woman taking their money outside our community. Look at Kobe Bryant, he married that girl now she divorcing him, her mother lives in one of his 3 mansions, plus she is getting half. Pa-leese…!

I also think these white men have motives, they want a black woman for something different because its exotic and taboo. I guess it can turn into something permanent.

Me: What do you think about black woman choosing white men so their kids can have good hair? 
London: I heard this a long time ago and its being said now also. I do not think it’s a true that someone could be so superficial. Good hair is a perk though, but good hair does not guarantee a cute baby. Your child walking around with good hair yet he/she is dumpy and ugly. You have to look at the whole package with whoever you decide to date. Its just ignorant if someone dates a white ma so their child will have good hair. Just stupid.

Jazmine: No opinion one way or another, do what makes you happy.
 
Tangy: I think white men only look at black woman as sex objects. They don’t take us serious.
 
Joshlyn: Girl I am down with any biracial relationship. To me its whatever rocks your boat, baby go for it. But personally I am not attracted to white men..lol I like mine dark…lol
 
Catina: I don’t have a problem with it but keep him in check because as soon as he say the ‘N’ word, he will be in the hot seat. I’m just saying
 
Stasia: Girl, my kids date outside of their race…I’m use to it these day. We live in that era now. Personally I am not really attracted to white me, but that is just me.
 
TeyTey: Ehh… I could careless. At this point, I think if you are lucky to find love regardless of who it is with and what color/sex they are, then so be it. Hell, in a minute I’m going to finds (yes finds) me a snowflake! Hell I just say, sometimes we wait on brother's to get their Ish together and before we know it, we could be waiting for nothing. I think Black men have more of a problem with black women moving over to white men...but I always say 'then give me a reason NOT too'. do I think white men are better, No. A man is a man first. Color comes second. All of my friends who have dated white men have never said too many bad things about them. I've heard consistently how well they are treated by them, and how white men aren't as insecure as black men are.etc, etc, etc. So, I guess u just never truly know until u roll over on that side of the fence. I went out with one once... nice guy....but had crazy eyes. And I dont do crazy funny shaped eyes... LOL. Call me foolish, but hell, his eyes looked like they just didnt' belong on him. LOL. Chile booooo.
 
Isaac: Black men can date white women but black women can not date white men! Point Blank!

 Woody: I DON'T AGREE WIT MY SISTAS DATIN WHITE MEN...BECUZ WHEN WE AZ BROTHAS SEE OUR SISTAS DATIN WHITE MEN THEN WE BROTHAS WANT 2 DATE WHITE WOMEN AN AT DA END OF DA DAY OUR CULTURE AN OUR PEOPLE R BECOMIN A LOST CAUSE...MY THANG IZ IF A SISTA CAN'T LUV A BLAC MAN THEN SHE IZ FOOLIN HER SELF...AN NOTHIN GUD EVER COMES FROM THAT...

 Abby: Lol...I dated a whit guy ONCE!! One date, one time...It felt weird...Not b/c we were two different races, but b/c he looked at me like I was an exotic piece of meat to experiment with...Uh Uh Mr...Plus, as cute as he was, his breath was on STOP IT mode...I don't have a problem with it, if it works for u, cool...It wasn't the most comfy dating experience for me...I like Black penis thank u... :))

Kay: the same way i feel about our black men dating white women if thats what they want to do so be it love has no color shape or size thats how i feel honestly

Henry: There is nothing wrong with it. The only reason people have an issue with it because someone has planted a seed in their head.

Sasha: I have already crossed over into the white chocolate last year.  They are different but they love the same.  Its just hard to see a 'pink' one when your use to a 'brown' one.

Kelli: I do not have a problem with it as long as he treats her right.


 Last words ..I say go for it...a man is a man. Love and happiness has no boundaries!

Kids 'today' have it made!

Frustrated is putting it mildly. 

Last week I did piece on #backintheday which highlighted and touched on kids today versus the kids back in the day (me, you, us). However discipline is on my brain now and how things really have changed. A bit nostalgic thinking on my childhood spankings... NOT!

Tuesday is scheduled basketball practice for my son. Practice is from 9pm to 10 pm CST... I know it’s late (don't ask). Anyway so my son ask me to wake him at 8:45 (it was 5:30ish) to get ready. No problem, I was up working anyway. Apparently I didn't turn the volume up on my phone so I missed a call. When I noticed the light dimming, my phone lite up again with my child's facebook picture. 

Son: Ma? 
Me: Yes.
Son: The dog jumping on the back door.
Me: Okay.
Son: Let him in.
Me: What are you doing?
Son: I am resting.
Me: OK.

I politely ignored the beating on the door by our dog Bleux Martini, then I felt guilty and let him (the dog) in 10 to 15 minutes later. Afterwards I got mad as hell (delayed reaction) because I was actually bullied into letting the dog in the house when it’s the kid’s responsibility to manage the dog.  

Needless to say, this incident was the topic of my journal entry the following day. 

 Kids got it made..

When I was a kid there were some things we just didn't do, one of them was asking our parents to do our chores. The things our parents did or were allowed to do back then, they would do hard time in the penitentiary. These unconventional punishments (time out, soap in mouth, taking what you like etc) were unheard of, at least in the black household.  We (black kids) always thought the white kids got away with murder. Try throwing a tantrum in a store, you will get stomped, dropped and rolled in the spot you embarrassed your mom in. Believe me I know..I am very familiar with the back of a hand. 

 Times have changed. We are expected to keep our children in line using a mild tone voice (no yelling), negotiate with our children by allowing them to have a say in the punishment, and use terms like "Time out corner". ARE YOU FOR REAL.. WE got BEAT!!! Beat like we stole something whether we did the deed or not. Try beating your child like your mom beat you... you will get a visit by a government organization C.P.S. followed by the POLICE. Kids have CPS on speed dial. Where the hell was CPS when that belt went across my back and wrapped around to my cheek, during the flying shoe toss or open handed slaps and closed hand punches..lol (Sorry Ma). If I even thought about calling CPS I better have a plan. My bags packed, waiting and ready at the door. I am sure my mom would make the CPS plan worth it, know what I mean? 

According to doctors with their statistics, spanking will mess up your kid because spankings hurt and should be avoided try discipline which teaches. Remember we want our kids to turn out well, not close off communication because they fear the parent.

All I have to say is.... I turned out alright!!!!

Kids got it made.

Materialistic-ism: Giving kids any an everything they want regardless of their behavior, grades or attitude.

Parent Excuse#1: I want my kids to have what my parents were not able to provide for me.

Why???????????????????????? 

We put ourselves in a hostage situation by giving,giving, giving for no damn reason. Let these ENTITLED, opportunistic, money grubbing, selfish kids EARN what they get. We put ourselves in a position where we can not even say 'NO'  to our children without feeling guilty.  

Lets be honest, it’s really not about the kids. We as parents are competing thru our kids with society. We want others to see our kids with the latest/greatest technology, and the most fashionable designer clothes. You know how I know this, my kids have a Iphone and a laptop and I don't. My son shops at Macy's and I shop at Ross. All because I want him to have what  I didn't plus I want to be able to talk with other moms about how greedy and selfish their kids are as they brag about what their kids have. Sad but oh so true.

One thing my dad said to me that makes sense now "Don't try to keep up with Joneses because the Joneses are trying to keep up with someone else, it’s a cycle"

Kids got it made.

Then: Saturday morning chores
Now: Kids do not wake up until 12pm

Then: We survived, and were not dependent on parents to hold our hand.

Now: Kids are dependent upon parents for everything, even to entertain them when they are bored.

Then: We ate what our parents cook. And ate what we left on our plate for breakfast from the night before
Now: Kids make decisions on what they will and will not eat. They throw out good food for any reason

Then: Mom/parent shopped for our clothes. Lucky if we got a designer label (Jordache, Gloria Vanderbilt)
Now: Kids dress better than parents. They expect designer clothes (Polo) and will refuse to wear otherwise.

Then: Rode public transportation and was proud of it. "Girl I got a bus pass"
Now: Kids have brand new cars at the age of 16. Parents pay car payment and insurance.

Then: We would work a part time job, some parents would take the check and did what they wanted to do with it. (Save or spend it)
Now: Working a fast food job is beneath them. If they do work, it is their money to blow.

Then: Curfew. Curfew. Curfew. Parent will show up, show out.
Now: Parents don’t know where their kids are most of the time

Then: No! meant No!
Now: No means okay. 

Then: Parent went to a parent’s house to meet them before the sleep over

Now: Parents do not want to embarrass their kids

Then: Maybe smoked a cigarette, or pretended to puff on a joint (weed)

Now: Kids taking prescription drugs, inhaling glue and snorting cocaine

Then: No boyfriend/girlfriend until you turns 16.

Now: Boyfriend/girlfriend spending the night with parent’s permission

Then: Not cool to get pregnant while in school
Now: Getting pregnant is the style.

I can go on and on and on....

Then: Kids respected and feared their parents
Now: Parents fear their kids.

"Spare the rod spoil the child" I want to know why we as parents are afraid to spank our children. There was no room for discussion if I did something wrong, I got my ass whooped! I can count on my hand the times I was actually put on punishment, it was rarely an option, I got my ass whooped. Things have definitely changed. I would have swallowed teeth if I spoke back to my mom. I definitely do not condone abuse, however a good smack every now and then ain't never hurt nobody.

This blog post is rambling nightmare, it jumps around but the topic of kids has so much range I wanted to touch on everything. Stay tuned

 KIDS GOT IT MADE!!!!!!

I thought this was super hilarious and I could relate on so many levels...check this out:

(http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat) -->>so I wont get into any trouble.

Five across the eyes. This is a very basic maneuver and usually enough to cover most situations when your child is out of line. Simply put four fingers tightly together and either leave the thumb off to the side or fold it behind the other four fingers.

 Then smack your kid across the face with the back of your hand. Now this is the tricky part: make sure to snap your wrist just before contact otherwise you won't get a stinging effect

The sucker punch. Just ask the question "hey, what's that on your shirt?" and when they look down, bust their lip. You need to do this every now and then to keep them guessing. Don't ever let them off the hook. Just because they're not doing anything wrong doesn't mean that they didn't do something wrong earlier that you weren't aware of.

The Dragon Kick. If you're interested in a permanent solution to your child giving you lip about washing the dishes, cleaning his or her room or filing your tax return, then the Dragon kick might be the technique for you. I guarantee that you will only have to ask once after the Dragon kick has been administered.

The one-two shut-the-hell-up. This is priceless when you're shopping and your kid won't shut the hell up: "I'm hungry, I want toys, I need my Insulin..." etc. First smack your kid (the 5 across the eyes technique works). Wait a few seconds for your kid to start crying, then smack your kid again to let him know that you mean business. This usually shuts them up because they see that the amount of crying is proportional to the amount of beatings.
The skull thump. A quick blow usually dealt to the side or back of the head. Simply flick them in the head with your finger. An alternative is to smack your child up side the head with your palm. Very useful for teaching your child to read when he or she makes a mistake. Hitting your child when he or she is learning builds confidence, or undermines confidence--I can't remember which.
The one-handed chauffeur reach around. A quick reach around while you're driving to smack your kid and his friends too if they disrespect. Swerve the car back and forth for the full effect.